N64 Connoisseur

1 More Castle Behind the Gaming: Glover Part 2

When we last left our story, Glover and Cross-Stitch had found gainful employment working for a kindly wizard.

“Those boys were the hardest working gloves I’ve ever seen,” remarked the wizard. “Before they came along, I couldn’t conjure a simple spell of HP regeneration. Two days after they started, I created a potion that gave me the power to produce any baked good by simply touching a plate. I gained so much weight, I had to have them both let out so I could fit my hands in them. Then, they helped me come up with this potion that got me free cable. We watched so much HBO! The best thing they helped me do, though, was to build this castle and get these seven crystals put up. You see, those crystals are what protect the kingdom. Yep, me, Glover, and Cross-Stitch, we were on top of the world. There was no stopping us…”

No stopping them, except for unforeseen tragedy.

Glover (N64)

An error in the mixing of a potion would nearly end not just lives, but an entire kingdom. The instability of the mixture would result in an explosion that would injure the wizard, send Glover hurdling out the window, jar the protective crystals from the castle, and perhaps most importantly for our purposes, corrupt Cross-Stitch.


Cross-Stitch after the accident.

What was in the cauldron that so corrupted Cross-Stitch? The very substance he had fought an addiction with his entire life.

“I knew the danger in using starch in that potion,” uttered a guilt ridden Wizard. “I just thought that if I could get this potion together that would make all of my AA batteries last longer, it would be worth the risk. I mean, don’t you hate it when you try to change the channel and nothing happens? I know I do. I never thought it would do what it did to that poor boy.”

Unaware of what had happened to his brother, a stunned and dazed Glover was left to make a split second decision to protect the kingdom.

“It was crazy, man,” proclaimed Glover. “The crystals were falling towards the earth and I did the only logical thing. I hid each one of them inside of bouncing rubber balls. I know I could just as easily have used my magic to simply put them back on top of the castle, but it wasn’t nearly as festive.”

That festivity had consequences. Placing the crystals in rubber balls meant that they bounced all over the globe. With the wizard out of commission, it was up to Glover to retrieve them. This seemed like a fairly simple task, until Glover discovered his opposition: his brother on a starch bender.

“I could tell immediately that he was back on the stiffies,” said Glover. “He was always a different glove on them. It became like he had a heart of leather instead of the fine cotton I knew dwelt inside of him. Family never turns their backhand on each other though. I knew I had to do whatever it took to help my brother. But I had another responsibility too. I had to get those crystals back home. The whole kingdom was depending on it. What? Why did a wizard live in a castle with no king? Reasons, that’s why.”

And so Glover set out on his mission, fighting his brother’s minions along way. One by one, Glover returned the crystals to their place until he came to the last crystal ball *AHEM*. It was then that he finally came face to face with his own brother.

“I begged him to stop. I told him I didn’t want to fight him. He forced me to fight him. He made me choose between the needs of the one and the needs of the many. It was then and there that I knew I couldn’t let his addiction rule my life as well as his. I had to fight back.”

Fight back Glover did. It what can only be described as an epic battle, Glover single-handedly *AHEM* defeated his brother and absconded with the final crystal. Once returned to its proper place, the Wizard was revived and the crystals returned to the castle top. The wizard was able to use magic to instantly cure Cross-Stitch and the three friends were able to return to their normal lives.

Wizard, Glover, and Cross-Stitch

Reunited and it feels so good.

“It was a wild ride for me and my brother,” remarked Glover. “At the end of the day, it just goes to show you that no matter how high you are, you can always be knocked down. It’s how you handle the fall that determines where you go in this life. Me and Cross-Stitch, we’ll be fine. We might be made of cotton, but we are Mechanix tough.”

That does it for this edition of 1 More Castle Behind the Gaming. Join me back here in 2 weeks when I learn all over again that words are hard.