1 More Countdown

Top 10 Characters with Odd Eating Habits

Last time we talked about the grossest video games, this week we’re talking about food. So you might have lost your lunch last time, but this time you might get it back. Then again we’re talking about odd eating habits, so weird food going in and possibly out, might not be super appetizing.

I actually had another list idea for this 1 More Countdown, but I found out the hard way that it required a lot more research and I’m busy with school. I’ll leave it on the backburner, but this time we’re talking about something else on the backburner… FOOD!

Food is a powerup in many of our favorite retro games, so it appears everywhere. Nevertheless, where this food is found and how it’s incorporated into the game can be really strange. I mean, Simon Belmont eats pork chops (I think that’s what they are) found inside the walls of an old castle. However these 10 video game characters have even odder eating habits than that, and process their food in an odd way too.

Rules:

One character per franchise.
Characters are ordered based on how weird I find their eating habits.
Mistakes may be made, if thou see a mistake do not by a douchebag, but please point it out.
I haven’t played every single video game ever made, so your favorite might not be on this list.
However, every character on this list is from a game I have played.
Most characters are from retro games, although I did cheat a little bit this time.
Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

Bon appetite

10.) Blobert

If you are what you eat, why isn’t Blobert a giant jellybean?

Blobert is the name of the giant white blob from the overlooked NES game, A Boy and His Blob: Trouble on Blobolonia. In this game you control a young boy who is trying to overthrow the evil emperor of Blobolonia with his pal Blobert.

Blobert is a blob with the ability to shapeshift when he eats jellybeans. A strawberry jellybean will turn Blobert into a bridge, a Cola jellybean will turn him into a bubble, and a rootbeer jellybean will turn him into a rocket. There’s a bunch more combinations, but we’d be here a while if I listed them all.

Blobert only takes the #10 spot because he’s an alien. This game takes place in the distant future of 2001 where kids all have pets from other planets. Since Blobert is an alien eating processed Earth food, I don’t really consider his transformations to be odd.

I’m sure some crazy things would happen to me if I ate alien food.

9.) Reptile

Okay, I’m going to give you some brief spoilers about this list. The next few characters on this list eat people. Now cannibalism isn’t too odd, but I suppose it really depends on what is actually eating the person.

First off we have Reptile from Mortal Kombat. Now he’s in this spot because it’s not too unusual for a reptilian creature to eat a human, I mean I’m sure dinosaurs and snakes and shit ate humans right? What do you mean dinosaurs weren’t alive at the same time humans were? I’ve seen the Flintstones! They can’t make that shit up!

Now where was I? Reptile makes it on this list for a few reasons. First off, he’s disguised as a human ninja, which is cool. Secondly, he will eat the heads of humans or god, it doesn’t matter. Third and foremost, it seems like Reptile will only eat the head of enemies. He’ll leave the rest of the body to rot… that’s probably because the head is brain food.

8.) George, Lizzie, and Ralph

Rampage is a fantastic game where you play as a giant mutated monster, and cause a rampage across the country or across the world.

In Rampage you play as George the giant Gorilla, Lizzie the immense Lizard, or Ralph the enormous Werewolf. Each of these beasts eat a lot of food throughout the game. Food is health in this game and it can be found everywhere. In addition, they eat appliances and other odd things that can be found in the buildings.

In addition, the characters from Rampage also eat humans. They’ll eat military personnel, civilians, or anyone who gets in their way. Monsters eating people is normal, but these monsters used to be people!!! Lizzie, George, and Ralph all used to be human before turning into their monstrous forms.

Cannibalism, in the truest sense of the word.

7.) Amingo

Amingo is the weirdest human eater on this list, and there are many reasons why, but first… Who is Amingo?

Amingo is a giant living cactus creature, that plays guitar, and fights superheroes. He was a character specifically created for Marvel vs. Capcom 2 and has appeared in nothing else. He’s a giant cactus-like creature who is looking for a mysterious wind that caused the death of all plant life. There’s a rumor he’s from a cancelled Capcom game, but no details are available.

One of Amingo’s Hyper Combos is that he eats the opponent, does a dance with maracas while the opponent is in his body, then spits him/her/it/whatever out. This is odd for two reasons, the first is all the creatures and robots that Amingo can eat. The second, is that Amingo’s mouth isn’t where you think it is…

It’s under his sombrero on top of his head.

6.) Master Higgins

Master Higgins is the star of the Adventure Island series. It’s a fantastically overlooked gem about a fat caveman who’s on a quest to save his sexy girlfriend.

The thing that sets Adventure Island apart from many other platformers of the time is the unique timer system. This game features a starvation meter. If Master Higgins isn’t eating every few seconds his starvation meter will go down and he will die.

What does Master Higgins eat? Fruit… only fruit.

Now I’m not one to tell someone being a vegan or vegetarian is wrong, but meat is murder… tasty, tasty murder. Eating fruits and veggies are quite healthy, but what happens if that is all you eat, and you eat constantly. Now I’m no expert, but I know eating too much fruit will give you diarrhea. So I believe Master Higgins is under constant threat of starvation because all the fruit he eats is literally running through him. He should just eat one of those pig men I see running around.

5.) Pac-Man

Eating people is odd, eating just fruit is odd, Pac-Man’s diet is insane.

There are many things I want to know about Pac-Man the game and Pac-Man the character, but perhaps that’s a topic for another time. Pac-Man eats cherries and pretzels and that’s fine, but I’m more concerned about the other things he eats.

First off, what are pellets and power pellets made of? They’re yellow, and perfectly round. I’m going to guess that they are balls of cheese, which means Pac-Man is extremely gassy. Maybe that’s how he moves around that maze?

The main thing though is that he eats a giant cheese ball, and then can eat ghosts. How does anything eat a ghost? A ghost is the spirit or soul of someone that has passed on, and Pac-Man eats it. Not only that, but when he eats the ghost, the ghost comes back over and over again in an endless cycle of consumption and flatulence… How does that even work?

4.) Big Boss

I know I’m cheating here, with a character that his most popular game was from the Playstation 2 era, however I will defend this choice because Metal Gear was originally released on the MSX2 in 1987 and that’s where Big Boss made his debut, so… loophole!

I don’t really remember the original Metal Gear, I do remember Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. This isn’t your typical Metal Gear Solid game that takes place in a closed environment. This game takes place in the jungle, the mighty jungle, where the soldiers sleep tonight… cause I shot them with a tranquilizer gun.

Since the majority of this game takes place in a jungle your objectives are different. You stay stealthy by wearing different color camouflage depending on the environment you’re in, you have to heal your own wounds, and you have to eat to survive. In this game Big Boss aka Snake or whatever you want to call him eats a lot of different things. He eats Snakes and other woodland creature but the oddest things he eats are mushrooms. Russian Glowcap mushrooms to be exact. Throughout the game your battery meter will deplete if you use sonar or other devices. If you eat one of these neon green mushrooms your battery will recharge.

That’s like eating a mushroom that can recharge your cell phone battery… how does it work?

3.) Kirby

You’d think this little pink puffball would be the inspiration for this list, but actually that honor goes to the next entry.

Kirby’s entire gimmick is being pink and eating enemies to absorb their power. This is odd because in his debut, Kirby was white-ish/gray and could only eat enemies to spit them out again. Kirby is already strange because somehow his digestive track is able to absorb the inherit power of his enemies, cause a wardrobe change, and then Kirby is able to use said power. Kirby can’t eat anyone and anything, but he can eat creatures much larger than himself, like Samus, Bowser, and even Donkey Kong.

Personally I can buy that Kirby can eat and absorb his enemies powers, but how does that initiate a costume change? If he eats Mario, he’s wearing a Mario hat. If he eats Samus, he’s wearing a space suit. How does Kirby’s stomach change his clothes!? That’s what I really want to know.

There’s not much to say about Kirby just because you all know him. He has the ability to eat and steal his food’s power, but also he can eat an enemy, turn him into a star, and shoot him back at his friends. That is one special stomach.

2.) Quina Quen

It seems like every video game needs at least one oddball character that doesn’t fit the mold. This is true for fighting games and especially true for the Final Fantasy series. In Final Fantasy IX, Quina Quen is that character.

First off we don’t even know if Quina Quen is a boy or a girl. The game does its best to avoid gender specific pronouns but when it does it uses words like s/he. Quina Quen is a Qu. Qu is a species of weird rotund creatures in Final Fantasy that are all training to become gourmands. Quina is a dumbest Qu of the tribe, s/he only thinks about food and with his/her stomach. This makes Quina the comedic relief throughout the game but s/he does help find secrets and passageways using s/his sense of smell and one track mind.

Quina can be seen eating, or attempting to eat many things throughout the game. S/he even wants to eat the main protagonist, Zidane, at one point. However, his/her best consumption ability is in combat. Quina can eat nearly all the enemies in the game, and once s/he does s/he learns Blue Magic. Basically Quina is similar to Kirby in that s/he eats an enemy to gain it’s power, but while Kirby can only hold onto 1 or 2 powers at a time, and only for a short time, Quina can learn all sorts of powers through consumption and will remember them forever.

S/he can even eat bosses, plus s/he fights with a giant fork.

1.) Yoshi

Okay, now I know this is a bit odd to see Yoshi beat out Kirby, Big Boss, and Quina for the top spot on this list but just give me a second to explain myself here.

Yoshi is like Kirby in that he’s known for eating things. Mainly Yoshi will eat fruits or his enemies, but only certain enemies. In addition, Yoshi can ain temporary powerups by consuming Koopa’s with different colored shells. The blue shell lets Yoshi fly, the red shell let’s Yoshi spit fireballs, the yellow shell he can stomp, and with the rainbow shell he can do all the above.

Now, none of this is that strange, but the odd eating habits come in Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island. In this game almost anything Yoshi eats gets turned into an egg, and then used as a weapon. Now eggs are basically babies. They’re unfertilized babies and we eat them… That means that eggs are part of the reproductive cycle of any creature that lays them.

Now consider Yoshi. Yoshi eats enemies and then gives birth to these enemies as an egg. This means that Yoshi’s digestive system is directly linked to its reproductive system. Imagine if you, or someone you know ate a burger… and then gave birth to that burger! That’s essentially what Yoshi does, and it’s the oddest eating habit in all of gaming.

Well, I hope you found this list to be entertaining and hunger provoking.

This is Eric Vole saying “They’re eating her… and then they’re going to eat me……OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD!!!”