Top 10 WORST Celebrity-Endorsed Video Games
The Super Bowl was last Sunday, and that means it was a time for consumption of greasy foods, watching grown men brutally attack one another, and rampant commercialism. I was thinking of a blog to go along with the big game, but I already talked a lot about sportsball. So when I saw Peyton Manning in another commercial, I was struck by inspiration.
Now celebrities endorse many products, and some celebrities even get their own video games. I’m not talking about video games based off movies or TV shows (Tool Time, The Fifth Element, Last Action Hero), but instead retro video games (Playstation 1 era and prior) with celebrity endorsement. Most of these celebrity-endorsed games are just terrible, so I decided to count down the top 10 worst.
It doesn’t matter how amazing the celebrity is, if the game is complete shit. So let’s begin.
10.) Chuck Norris Superkicks
I know that Chuck Norris is an internet and meme god, but even he isn’t immune to a shitty video game. The game was developed in 1983 by Xonox for multiple consoles but I’m talking about the Atari 2600 version.
In this game you play as Chuck Norris, unless you bought the copy called “Kung Fu Superkicks” that was released when the Chuck Norris copyright ran out. Either version is garbage. You control Chuck Norris as he walks across a map screen until seemingly out of nowhere you get teleported to a fight screen where you must defeat the evil kidnappers.
The game is just unplayable. You’d think the ONE button on the Atari controller would make Chuck punch but NOPE. Instead you hafta hold the button and wiggle the joystick while enemies shoot at you. It’s impossible.
9.) Shaq Fu
Thanks to the internet, Shaq Fu has been unfairly deemed as one of the worst games ever made. Shaq Fu is a bad game, but it’s playable… so it can’t be one of the worst ever made. It was out on the SNES/Genesis and ported to multiple other platforms. Also it was developed by Delphine Software International and published by EA.
Shaq Fu is a game where you play as Shaquille O’Neal and fight mythical creatures in another dimension to save a young boy from an evil mummy. The story and cutscenes are obviously nonsensical and lackluster.
The gameplay is terrible as well, you’ll often jump in air and then get destroyed by the AI, because Shaq – although the star – is the weakest character in the game. The game isn’t as bad as the internet makes it out to be, it’s just that there are videos like this, pictures like this, and websites dedicated to destroying the game.
8.) Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style
If you want a worse celebrity-endorsed fighting game than Shaq Fu, look no further than Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style. It was published by Activision and developed by Paradox Development for the playstation.
Wu-Tang Clan is a real life rap group, and the stars of this game. The plot is basic. A martial arts master is kidnapped by an evil gang and it’s up to Wu-Tang Clan to save him… because why not have rappers save the day.
Wu-Tang isn’t original at all. It poorly steals the 3D fighting of other similar games, the fatalities of Mortal Kombat, and the nonsense of Shaq Fu. The controls don’t work, the framerate is poor, and once again the AI is impossible to beat.
Wu-Tang’s likeness and music were used well… but that doesn’t matter when the game is unplayable.
7.) Queen: The eYe
This was a game about the band Queen, released for DOS in 1998 by EA and Destination Design (a company that doesn’t even have its own Wiki-page. The game has 1 plus, it features a lot music of Queen… however the music has been altered for the game.
The game is dumb, especially the pretentious/artsy plot. You fight against agents of the eYe who try to stop you from spreading the music of Queen, but controls don’t work and the graphics look like they belong in a game from a decade earlier. I may love Queen’s music, but this game was a dud.
In the distant future, an all-seeing machine known as the eYe has destroyed all forms of expression and creativity… like we never heard that before. You play as an agent who discovered the music of Queen and wants to share it with the world and destroy the eYe. Think of a combination of Terminator 3 and Footloose.
6.) N’Sync: Get to the Show
It’s an N’Sync game on the Gameboy Color… do I really need to say more?
I guess I should explain a little more. The game is basically four mini-games based on the band. You can drive a limo that takes up the entire screen, try to discern between normal people and celebrities, and then also guide a band member to avoid/kick objects.
All the games are average at best, and quite easy. The limo one is obviously the worst, but the others are passable. The game is about a boy band, but on the Gameboy Color so there’s nothing that makes the band famous (music/dancing/graphics). It just never needed to be made.
5.) Devo Presents: Adventures of the Smart Patrol
I’m sorry if the picture is giving you a nightmare.
Devo Presents: Adventures of the Smart Patrol was a game developed and published by Inscape in 1996 for Mac and PC. Following the game, an album was released by Devo with all the music from the game. The album is better than the game.
In the game makes no sense, but since it’s Devo, that’s to be expected. You are tasked with saving Spudland from Turkey Monkey, who’s spreading evil and disease across the land. It’s a point and click first-person adventure game similar to Myst and the next entry on this list.
The game features spans twelve hours (which is 30 minutes in real life time), however there’s a problem. The game has time sensitive instances that must be accomplished to beat the game. You have to play the game multiple times to figure out where to go and at what time. If you miss the small window, you fail.
The game would be in the number 4 spot, but I got a soft spot for Devo. I like their music and nonsense. Just don’t let your kids play this game because it’s Devo, so it’s creepy and has some nudity.
4.) Prince Interactive
You might remember Prince Interactive as the Myst clone from my Top 10 Best/Worst Educational Games, and honestly I never thought I’d be talking about it again, but here we are. If you want more information on the game, check out the link above, but I’ll talk a bit about it here.
The “game” if you want to call it that, is an ego-stroking experience about Prince, made by Prince. Besides the mundane tasks of picking out Prince’s outfit, and solving some of the easiest logic puzzles ever you get to learn all about how Prince is the greatest artist of all time.
The game features videos and interviews with numerous celebrities talking about how great Prince is.
3.) Spice World
When ordering this list, I was a little more lenient if I like the musician featured in the game, because this generally meant their music would be included in the game as well. It’s the reason the Devo game is better than the Prince game, and it’s the reason Spice World is in the top 3 worse.
I HATE this game. It was advertised “With innovative gameplay similar to PaRapper the Rapper and many of the girls’ biggest hit songs Spice World is sure to rock your PlayStation.” and that is a giant lie.
The goal of the game is to prepare The Spice Girls for a performance on live TV. You do this by having the girls practice their dance moves (basically mashing and matching buttons), practice singing, pick camera angles, and sequencing the lyrics. The best thing about the game is that you can have the girls dance and sing what you want them to… like the same words and dance over and over… but the novelty wears off quickly.
2.) The Wacky World of Golf with Eugene Levy
Eugene Levy plays a wise-cracking golf ball, who shouts the same catchphrases, encouraging words, and golf-related puns over and over again in the WORST miniature golf game ever created. You don’t even play as Levy, but the game advertised Levy so much you’d figure every character would be played by him.
The game was released on the CD-i and like many games on the console, it features great animation. Unfortunately all praise ends there.
Imagine a mini-golf game where you can’t control the power of your hit. It’s a game where you can only shoot straight, slightly left, or slightly right. The way to win is to time your shots to avoid obstacles but the timing is IMPOSSIBLE to figure out and most the obstacles will destroy your ball and send you back to the beginning of the hole. It’s not mini-golf, its pushing a button to see an animation then here an unfunny Levy joke over and over again.
1.) Make My Video (All of them)
Make My Video was a series of video game made for the SEGA-CD and PC. Each game featured three songs from three different bands (Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Kris Kross, and INXS). You know, the BEST BANDS EVER! To hell with The Beatles we got The Funky Bunch!
The problem with the Make My Video games is the lack of gameplay. It’s basically a piss poor editing program disguised as a game. Each game has three songs by each band, and a bunch of poorly rendered FMV and live-action clips. The goal is to make a music video using the provided songs and clips, but that’s easier said than done. The editing tools don’t works, the videos are blurry, and who the hell wants to make a music video where they have NO CONTROL over the content of the video? No one does, and that’s why this game is so bad.
Game Informer gave the Marky Mark version a 0 out of 10, the lowest score they ever game… and the others were not received any better. There’s no gameplay, and that’s the worst thing for any video game.
I hope you enjoyed this list, of the worst. Next time on 1 More Countdown will be a list I teased a while ago.