Top 10 Fictional Sports in Video Games
Video games are some of the most creative forms of media out there. They’re so creative that sometimes they create their sports. Today I’m counting down the top 10 fictional sports from video games. These are sports that don’t exist in the real world, but instead on our consoles.
For this list I’m only focusing on sports! This list does not include vehicular games or game shows! Also this list was suggested by Chris Swartz for super duper fan appreciation month… or two months… or whatever.
Pitball is a sport I don’t have a lot of information on. It’s not as obscure as the next entry, it’s just a game that was forgotten in the depths of time… for not being that good.
In Pitball you take control of one of twelve aliens species on a quest to put a glowing orb into a hole.
That’s the basics of the game. There are weapons and powers, but they don’t matter much. This game is kinda like a terrible version of that new indie game #IDARB.
Nib might be my most obscure reference ever. That’s saying a lot considering I’ve talking about old PC games, Atari games, and much more. That’s because Nib isn’t even a playable… or a watchable sport. Actually Nib is only mentioned in conversations and a guide that came with the game.
Nib is a fictional sport from the PC adventure game Starship Titanic. As mentioned before we never see Nib played, or play Nib in the game… so what is it?
According to sources it’s a game where hand to hand combat sometimes goes into the stands and players kill spectator’s entire families, a game where ‘a small piece of wadding and a bit of elbow grease can mean life or death on the 18th‘, a game where superb beheadings are common, a game where cities are burned and pillaged, and a game where ‘travelling supported should not engage in small arms fire until Final Quarter is blown’.
Sounds like a game I wanna play.
This list is gonna get difficult because there are only so many ways you can say ‘the goal of the game is to get the ball in the goal’, but Deathrow is different. In Deathrow the goal of the game is to get the disc in the hoop. TOTALLY DIFFERENT RIGHT!?
Actually this game isn’t very unique. It’s a futuristic combination of handball and hockey and football and rugby… violence like punches, kicks, and throws are allowed.
What makes this game different than all the others on this list that are similar? Umm… nothing except it’s a ton of fun and on the original Xbox. For a clone, it’s a damn fun clone… get used to more games where a ball goes in a hole.
Blitzball is a sport invented in Final Fantasy X, and is required for you to play in that game… and I hate it. The players all swim around in a sphere of water trying to score goals. In Blitzball you pass and throw the Blitzball underwater to your teammates while the other team tries to steal the ball or tackle your teammate to knock the ball out of their hands.
The goal of the game is to throw the Blitzball into the goal, but you need to evade and trick the goaltender.
If this was real, I might enjoy it…but for me it was the worst part of Final Fantasy X.
No I’m not talking about the drug, nor am I talking about the superhero aka Penance.
Speedball is a futuristic sport that combines handball, hockey, and muther-effin robots! The goal of the sport is simple… throw the ball into the goal while avoiding the other team/goaltender… (just like a lot of games on this list).
However, the madness that surrounds this game makes it superior to Pitball or Blitzball. Speedball 2 is the best game in the series for all its additions. You get points for injuring players, if all substitutes are injured the injured players HAVE TO play, there are score multipliers, and targets on the wall to hit. It’s chaotic, fast, and just a ton of fun.
The great news is that there is an HD version of Speedball 2 on Steam that’s quite fun… give it a try! I recommend sticking to the original though.
Finally a fictional sport without “ball” in the title!
In a future where lethal wounds and accidents can no be treated by… some sort of science, real men take steroids, get magical or mechanical enhancements to defeat one another in Hyperblade!
In Hyperblade violence is widely accepted. Players slash at each other with blades while avoiding traps in the dome. Like many games on this list, the goal is to get a ball trough a goal, however in Hyperblade your riding around in a dome that’s shaped like a hollowed out egg, and you’re traversing the dome with a super futuristic mode of transportation… rollerblades!
Spheda may not be fondly remembered by everyone, but I know I had a ton of fun playing it.
Spheda is a mini-game from the action RPG, Dark Cloud 2. (A seriously underrated game that you need to check out.)
Spheda is basically golf. I know what you’re thinking… you’re thinking golf is a real world sport, why is it on this list? Well golf may exist, but what about TIME DISTORTION GOLF!?
There’s a hole in time/space and it’s up to you to close them. Out of these distortions came a red or blue time sphere. You must use your club to whack the sphere into the hole. The catch is that the hole is red or blue and the sphere must be the opposite color to close it and the sphere changes color every time it hits a surface.
Complicated? Yeah… a bit. The rewards are worth it.
The point of this game is to get the ball in the goal…. but it is by far the best game of this genre.
That’s because this game doesn’t feel like a combination of handball, hockey, and whatever… instead it’s a combination of pinball and CROSSFIRE!!! That’s right Bailey, I said CROSSFIRE!!!
The goal of the game is to shoot a stream of spheres at a ball. The spheres push and guide the ball toward your opponent’s goal. You need to avoid obstacles and your opponent’s spheres. It’s the video game version of CROSSFIRE and you’ll get caught up in the Ballistix.
2.) Discs of Tron
While everyone else really enjoyed the lightcycles, my favorite part of Tron was the discs… also since vehicular games aren’t counted on this list, I can’t even talk about the lightcycles.
Discs of Tron was an arcade game that recreates the disc sequence from the film. The goal of the game is to navigate platforms and avoid the discs thrown by your opponent. All the while you need to throw discs at your opponent to hit him three times of knock him off the platform.
Why this isn’t a thing? I have no idea!
1.) Pokemon Battles
Originally I wasn’t going to include this on my list… then I had a long debate on Twitter about it, and I realized I was wrong. Pokemon Battles are technically a blood sport, “a sport or contest (as hunting or cockfighting) involving bloodshed” or “any sport that involves animals being killed or hurt to make the people watching or taking part feel excitement”.
That’s exactly what Pokemon Battles are! They’re essentially cockfights with magical creatures with control over the elements. It’s a sick and depraved sport, but it’s my favorite.
Who doesn’t love raising a little animal from level 1 all the way to level 99? You grow with it, you bond with it, and you teach it devastating moves. Then you send it out into battle against other animals for prizes and money.
If that’s not the best fictional sport in a video game, I don’t know what is.
So 1 More Castle… I’m really sorry I’ve been absent for a long time. Real life has been crazy busy. I’m going to make it up to you all with one final FAN PICKED Top 10!!! In two weeks get ready for the Top 10 most stereotypically 90s 90s games… suggested by Andrew Livingston!!!