My Two Gils

Topical Journal?

Hey folks… Hum… I’m a little embarrassed this week. I’ve been quite tired this week with work, leisure and trying to teach contemporary dance to my cats for a quick youtube cash grab. I’m sure many of you feel the same. This dang winter tries its hardest to bring us down. Snowstorms, polar vortex… it’s like we’re back in 12000 B.C.

In any case, seeing how I was late and had nothing prepared, I had to go into my backup posts drawer where I found this notebook with something named Topical Journal written in it. I’d review it, but I really don’t have time. In any case, it’s something written by me, so it can’t be THAT bad. I hope it’s as relevant as the title says. Enjoy!


Day 1

Live from Dominican Republic! I thought of you guys and thought I’d use the heat and views of this little paradise on Earth for inspiration. I mean, retrogaming relates to so many people and subjects, surely I’d find something to write about.

Day 2

Didn’t take much time before the sun became pissed at me. No Koopa shell in sight to dispose of the bastard. Fortunately, the ocean is a welcomed water level. Nothing much to do except some swimming and building up the tan. I did create a little game to see how far I could pan my first person view to scout the area. However, considering the bruises my partner is giving me on the arm, I think it’s going to be game over soon. Bummer.

Day 3

I’ve been hit with a horrible curse! I can’t find a gaming beach song to hum for the life of me! Koopa Troopa Beach, Deejay’s or Blanka’s theme, Time’s Scar from Chrono Cross… All these melodies escape me… I guess the Rum Punch is really knocking me out. I’ll just stick with the Toadpole Pond theme for now. It’s topical enough! Get it? Tropical? Topical? Haha… stupid alcohol…

Day 4

Remember the Lunar Cry in Final Fantasy 8? To those unfamiliar or those who can’t remember, it’s when the moon sends a beam of monsters on earth for… reasons I never quite figured out. It looks a bit like this:

Why am I talking about this? Let’s just say some of the food is turning out to be more of a challenge than I thought it would be. I preferred the school of bloopers to be honest.

Oh well. Maybe if I keep my liver busy, my stomach will have the time to relax. To the beach pub!

Day 5

WOOOOOOO! Screw you guys! I’m on the beach! A bunch of losers is you!

Day 6

*space unintentionally left blank*

Day 7

Ok… I have a blurry memory of the last day or so… I think I woke up on the beach with a sword and shield in hand. I was definitely at full health since my sword emanated light beams. I tried to explore, but all the natives kept telling me to press start. I didn’t know where the broken 4th wall was and felt generally confused. That is until I received a rock to the face from an Octorok. That’s when I realized I was hallucinating. Turns out the sword was sunscreen which I squirt on everyone. As for the “Press Start” part, it was actually pressing charges… against me… Oh well. Good thing I leave today. Nice vacation overall. Sure beats winter.


So that was last year’s vacation log? OH! Tropical Journal! Wow… Summer beach vacation… That was an awesome… warm… week… Screw you past me…