GMZ
GMZ #3 – Razor Blades, Plastic Surgery, and Philanthropy
The Tricks are in the Treats
By Edmund Ronald Shey
Oljners Leonard Denholm Mann, famed hermit and wooden sword enthusiast, was recently arrested on 5 counts of child endangerment after it was discovered that trick or treaters visiting his cave (as if that wasn’t enough of a tip to not visit him) were given bags of candy containing razor blades. The incident was first realized when a young boy opened his bag to reach in for candy, and pulled his hand out to notice there were a myriad of cuts on it. The boy, when questioned by our news team, responded only saying “I wanted to get some beans for my blob.” The boy did not receive any serious injury and was released by doctors only twenty minutes after arriving. The local police, upon being told by the boy where he acquired the candy, immediately responded and arrived at Mann’s house only minutes later. They arrested Mann, and concurrently, more and more reports of dangerous candy were being reported to the main office. While being handcuffed, Mann was reported to have repeatedly shouted “They needed something sharp! It was too dangerous to go alone!”