N64 Connoisseur

N64 Trick or Treat

Yesterday was Halloween.  I dressed up as a 1 More Castle contributor and went trick or treating, except it wasn’t your normal trick or treat run.  I thought it would be fun to play a rousing round of N64 Trick or Treat.  Here’s how: I put all 296 North American N64 game titles into a random selector.  I had it choose 5 games totally at random.  Some are tricks, some are treats.  Much like real life trick or treating, you never know what will wind up in your bag.  Since we’ve grown so close over the last 2 weeks, I thought I’d make it into an adventure and share the experience with you.  In the immortal words of Mario, “HERE WE GOOOOOO!”

Transformers: Beast Wars Transmetals

Transformers: Beast Wars Transmetals (N64)

I think we all do in this game

The first stop on my trick or treating route is an older, rundown-looking house.  I nervously ring the doorbell and an old man in boxer shorts and black socks throws something into my bag.  Oh no! It’s the worst fighting game this side of Shaq-Fu!  This game was pure awful.  Despite the fact that Beast Wars was my least favorite Transformers series, they still could have made a half decent game out of it.  There was no actual way to have fun with this game.  It didn’t follow the TV show, it controlled like an Etch-a-Sketch, and it was possibly the most frustrating game I ever played.

Trick or Treat: Trick

Game Related Costume: Brown paper bag of shame

Halloween Candy Equivalent: A Ziploc sandwich bag full of grass clippings


 Polaris Snocross

Polaris Snocross (N64)

Wheelie Time!

After that last encounter, I’m a little shaken, but I continue.  There sure are a lot of run down houses in this neighborhood.  Still, I need some candy so I ring the next doorbell.  As the door opens, I am greeted by the overpowering smell of many cats and an older woman with messy hair drops something into my bag.  Oh geez.  Polaris Snocross, snowmobile racing games’ answer to waterboarding.  This was a game that tried to sell us based on the name Polaris instead of an actual good game.  Terrible options, terrible gameplay, a terrible experience.  This Halloween is not going well.

Trick or Treat: Trick

Game Related Costume: Air freshener because this game stinks

Halloween Candy Equivalent: A lead paint smoothie


Doom 64

Doom 64 (N64)

He did the Monster Mash!

I decided to move on to another neighborhood.  I come upon a familiar, but poorly lit house.  After a brief chat with the fellow living there, he says no matter what, he just can’t seem to make it bright enough.  He throws something in my bag and off I go.  Hey!  It’s Doom 64! Now we’re talkin!  It really did a great job in capturing the essence of Doom in gameplay, sound, flow, & look.  If you loved the original Doom, this was a great time for you.  It’s a title I never hear too much about when I talk N64 with people.  Perhaps an overlooked gem? Perhaps I’m being too nice.  Regardless, we have our first treat of the evening.

Trick or Treat: Treat

Game Related Costume: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Halloween Candy Equivalent: A 2.5lb bag of Twizzlers with bags of Skittles and M&M’s taped to the outside


WCW Backstage Assault

WCW Backstage Assault (N64)


Things were starting to look up, so I happily went on my way.  I came across a house that a lot of people expected would be good.  A large, intimidating man opened the door and dropped something into my bag.  Oh, it’s WCW Backstage assault.  This is a wrestling game that does not allow you to wrestle in the ring.  This game is also a lot of the reason that EA no longer makes wrestling games.  The characters looked awful, the controls made you think that there was a broken wire in your controller, and at the end of the day, only WCW fans really liked it.  It was also released in December 2000, so there weren’t too many WCW fans left by then.  The commentary was actually really good for an N64 wrestling game though.

Trick or Treat: Trick

Game Related Costume: Disco Inferno

Halloween Candy Equivalent: Used chewing gum wrapped in newspaper


Super Mario 64

Super Mario 64 (N64)

Isn’t that officially an obscene gesture?

Well, this Halloween hasn’t been very good.  I might as well hit one last house.  I come upon 1 more castle (AHEM), which is oddly out of place for a normal residential neighborhood.  The guy who answers the door is really in the Halloween spirit! He’s dressed like a mushroom, how adorable!  He drops something in my bag, wishes me well, and sends me on my way.  Holy winged hats!  Super Mario 64!  I don’t think I have to tell you what a treat this is, but I will.  This was one of the 2 launch titles for the N64 and it set the tone for the awesomeness that would follow.  It had no multiplayer, it had no DLC, it had no HD and we loved it.  It is still considered to be among the best games of all time.  Fun characters, solid gameplay, 3D Mario, and swinging Bowser by his tail.  This game had everything a guy could want.

Trick or Treat: Treat

Game Related Costume: That rabbit I could never catch

Halloween Candy Equivalent: 1 full sized Snickers delivered to you by Shigeru Miyamoto, dressed as your favorite Nintendo character as a choir sings hallelujah in the background and fireworks go off.  Also, he is holding the Snickers in a Power Glove.

This Halloween didn’t start out so well, but it really had a happy ending! I hope yours was excellent as well.  On a personal note from me to you: thank you.  The response to my debut 2 weeks ago was overwhelming and I really appreciate it.  Don’t forget to join me back here in 2 weeks, when I give a great racing game its due.