Gaming Soliloquy

Night of the Living MoonWalker

*Authors Note*

With the recent release of “Xscape”, I felt the need to go back. Way back. To Michael Jackson in his prime. Love him or hate him, he is an icon like no other. A tortured and flawed soul to be sure, but a musical genius as well. That genius has had an indescribable influence on my life and I want to share it with everyone. There will be no hate here. Hating is too easy and every fool has done their fair share of that (myself included). I’d rather celebrate love, great music and a totally wacky video game. If it weren’t for MJ, it is doubtful I would have the love of music that I experience today. And on that note, there is only one Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker, and there is truly nothing else like it.



The birth of my affinity for music came at the heels of a hulking automation, spliced with the gentle breeze of “Another Part of Me” humming gently in the background. A comet strikes! A flash of light! The king of pop is reborn into a merciless beast!


MJ Comet

MJ Face Transform

But wait! Before the transformation of tender hearted MJ, we must recede back to where this fantasy begins. Back to the effortless groove of “Smooth Criminal” ala the juke box purring at Club 30. MJ knows how to handle these child snatching thugs. Dance them to their doom!


MJ Dance 1.gif

Spontaneous brain aneurysm’s aside, these mobsters are no Smooth Criminals. And who needs fine suited fiends when you can experience true street thugs?


MJ Dance 2

“Beat It” blasts with Eddie Van Halen’s heavy handed guitar work smoking behind the rhythm. A melded medley of pop and rock that thumps its way into your brain as MJ dances his way to the rescue. Even the befuddled yapping Doberman can’t shake the beat.


MJ Dog Dance

But what MJ ordeal would be complete without a Thriller-esc moment of zombie waltzing stigmata? Even the birds can’t refuse the groove!


MJ Dance 3

Don’t mind that crying brat! She’ll soon drift away on a comet of lofty expectations. But Michael isn’t finished yet. “Billie Jean” with its extraordinary haunting melody floods your soul and you beg the spiders to make it stop!


MJ Spider Dance

Fear not however, a dingy waterfall holds the key to the infinite frustration of MJ’s cave infused spider sense. Rescue the last whimpering adolescent and get ready, because things are about to get BAD!


MJ Transition Dance

“Bad” screams out like an angry melody of my youth. This was the song I’d been pining for! In all its eccentric electricity, I had found my anthem of triumph that only MJ could provide. Slamming to the rhythm of Mr. Big’s machine gun wielding minions, MJ dances them to their deaths!


MJ Dance 4

Alas! The end has come! The transformation begins anew. MJ’s lucky star descends from the sky like a sonic boom from the heavens, molding Michael once again into a metallic killing machine. Saving the remaining hijacked children has never been closer in sight.

And thus it begins, MJ dazzles with might, his robot ascending, as our hero takes flight


MJ Robot Blast

Blasting the baddies and saving the kids, moving ever closer to where Mr. Big lives


The end is near and almost in sight, then MJ transformers and our hero takes flight



As the space ship ascends, and space becomes clear, MJ can sense, that the scoundrel is near


From the shadow of the moon, our villain comes out, blasting at MJ, with a deafening shout


MJ pulls left, and then to the right, up and then down, this is no easy fight


But our hero then turns, and begins to take aim, there is only one way, to finish this game


A blast from the ship, an explosion of fire, all is now quiet as MJ retires


Mr. Big Fight

Our journey is over and MJ has won, and all of the children are home to have fun


And when they gaze up, in to the night sky, they will not soon forget, that he is nearby


Dancing with rhythm and spinning with flair, our Moonwalker is out, and will always be there



Crotch Grab