Top 6 Pregnancies in Retro Video Games

My wife is pregnant with our second child. Nine months to be exact. Baby Neil could pop out at any time. [Editors note: he has!]

At important moments in life, I ponder the big picture. Retro video games.

I thought I’d take a break from my normal arcade musings (don’t worry, a new article will be up by Friday). So, as I type this knowing my wife’s water just broke and that I should be on my way to the hospital, I wanted to let you know my top five favorite pregnancies/births in retro gaming. Spoiler warnings for everything. I can’t stress that enough. SPOILERS.

6. Fire Emblem Elibe

In this game, Louise reveals to Lord Pent that she’s pregnant with Klein from Sword of Seals. I’ve never played Fire Emblem. That’s bad of me, right?

5. Final Fantasy VI

I don't know. Maybe man up there, Duane?

I don’t know. Maybe man up there, Duane?

Funny how they waited until the World of Ruin to bring up a teenage pregnancy. Nice soapbox there, Squaresoft. Duane and Katarin are two love-sick kids just trying to make it in Kefka’s paradise. Their town, Mobliz, is decimated! But their love carries on. They go through the same relationship troubles you’d see on an episode of Friday Night Lights: Duane doesn’t know how he’ll be a good dad. But parenting is a gift both of them have, being the oldest survivors and taking care of the younger kids.

Thankfully life finds a way: After Kefka’s demise, she gives birth to a beautiful baby. Awww.

4. Fallout 3

This will be retro in a few years, leave me alone I'm trying to hurry up and get to a hospital.

This will be retro in a few years, leave me alone I’m trying to hurry up and get to a hospital.

Is Fallout 3 retro at this point? No? Damnit. It won’t run on my Windows 7 quad-core system, so it might as well be retro to me. The game starts from your character’s POV after you’re born (stupid trivia: the father’s line “Are You a Boy or a Girl” is played in a bunch of stupid popup ads for some online RPG). I can’t think of a retro game that put you in that viewpoint right out of the womb.

3. Chrono Trigger

OK, the pregnancy isn’t shown. But in one of the endings, Marle tells Ayla and Kino to have strong kids (because, Marle is their descendant). Ayla says that she has strong and has MUCH energy. Then she drags her lover away. Read into that what you will, but earlier in the game, she does mention dealing with morning sickness. Which is awesome that she can brawl and raise a child in the womb.

2. Ms. Pac-Man

Couldn't find a good screen shot so this is from the local laundromat.

Couldn’t find a good screen shot so this is from the local laundromat.

Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man meet. They chase each other at break-neck speed. And then Junior comes along. Seems a bit fast, but they seem made for each other. They’re identical save for a bow and mole! Wait, that’s probably not a good thing.

1. Mario and Princess Toadstool.

C’mon. You know there’s two lines on that stick.