The Retro Critic
Shenmue
To celebrate the announcement that Shenmue III will finally reach us some time in the near future, I look back at the game that started it all: Shenmue on the Dreamcast.
Expect obscure in-jokes and darts.
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To celebrate the announcement that Shenmue III will finally reach us some time in the near future, I look back at the game that started it all: Shenmue on the Dreamcast.
Expect obscure in-jokes and darts.
Read More
One of the many games that completely blew my mind on the Sega Genesis back in the day was Comix Zone, an Arcade-style beat ’em up unlike any other.
The unique thing about Comix Zone was its dedication to achieving a full-on comic book style yet still kicking butt as a game.
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As my Dreamcast slowly but surely nears towards its final breath (*sob*), I did manage to recently revisit one of my favourite games on the console.
A racing game called San Francisco Rush 2049.
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To celebrate the release of new movie Jurassic World, I thought I’d talk about that Jurassic Park game on the NES.
Of course, 1MoreCastle already boasts a fab video review of that game (see Episode 9 of The Backlog with Joe Walker) so, being one sneaky fellow, I instead picked the Game Boy version to look at.
Incidentally, they’re both basically the exact same game.
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Dash Galaxy may sound like a brand of washing up liquid but it’s so much more.
Buck Rogers, Flash Gordon, they were mere preludes to the true all-American space hero that is Dash Galaxy.
If you’re wondering who the heck Dash Galaxy is then you’ve clearly never played or heard of Dash Galaxy In The Alien Asylum, Dash Galaxy’s greatest Dash Galaxy adventure.
And if you think I’m saying the name Dash Galaxy too much that’s because I am.
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Here’s one I played recently.
With the exception of the sublime Hatris and other such loving rip-offs, Tetris is one of those games I never felt the need to try different versions of. It was the first game I played on the original Game Boy and it was perfect: the blocks, the music, the lack of colour, I loved it all. I would later play a couple of phone versions of the game but they would be very similar to the original.
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Why does this game even exist?
Just look at that title screen, how ugly it is.
But that’s not even the point: Oddworld Adventures is, in fact, a good game… on the PS1, where it was known as Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee. Why did Nintendo agree to adapt that particular game to their clearly not advanced enough Game Boy? Because it did well with its inventive gameplay style, cool graphics and involving storyline.
All of which are barely present on the Game Boy, incidentally.
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The plot sees an alien (or “Mudokon,” to be precise) discover that the factory he works for as a slave is planning to release a new food product made out of his peers’ bodies. Which is pretty dark and disturbing. Add to that the weirdly comical way in which he first finds out about this, through looking at posters advertising the company’s old and new products.
As delicious as those Scrab Cakes look to Abe, he’s not too big on becoming “something new ‘n’ tasty” after he overhears a board meeting where all is revealed to him.
By the way, I only understand this plot through the Playstation version of the game because the Game Boy port could honestly be about anything. The plot is reduced to a vague cloud of vague vaguery and before you can take a second to figure it out, the game just starts.
Here’s a couple of questions: who am I and what’s a “Bigface”?
Is that blurry grey thing a Bigface?
Ok that kinda makes sense but I’m unclear as to what “Paramites” and “Scrabs” actually are, not to mention what the Bigface has to do with any of this.
Right…
To translate: Scrabs and Paramites are things used for food you’ll probably encounter along the way and the Bigface saves your life for some reason.
As to why this all rhymes somehow, I’m not quite sure.
I think the Bigface is actually a Yoda-style character who guides you throughout the game but it really feels like the Game Boy version is starting you off on like the 3rd level or something. There’s big plot chunks missing, which is a shame since the game’s story is interesting and is meant to hook you in right away.
I mean, Oddworld isn’t Batman, a franchise as old as time with a premise so famous little kids and 80 year-olds alike probably know it. This deserved a little more clarity/effort.
I also mean “clarity” literally, look at this screenshot:
I think I’m looking at Abe but, really, it could be anything.
Whatever it is, it’s freakin’ terrifying.
Anyway, the game itself is a platformer in which good old Abe walks and jumps around a factory, interacting with other characters with the ultimate goal of liberating all the slaves who work there before they are turned into yoghurt. And when I say “interacting” I mean interacting! The cool thing about this game is the “Gamespeak” which enables you to chant to other characters and get them to pull levers for you and such through some form of telepathy.
Like Garfield!
It’s not just some heroic rescue mission, the factory workers all work together to escape which makes releasing each of them quite rewarding. The Game Boy port only really includes one level from the main game, however, which is a bit rubbish and means you don’t get the full experience as it was intended.
Abe can also throw items including rocks, meat, even grenades but the problem with him is that everything kills him: jumping too high, holding a grenade for too long, being attacked or simply being touched by something unfriendly. Basically, just make sure you get good at this Gamespeak thing quick and write down those passwords.
One of the four Gamespeak functions you’re left with after the Game Boy transfer, by the way, is farting.
So, to recap, we’ve got no colour, no story, no levels but we’ve got farting.
THANK.
GOODNESS.
On the plus side, the animation on the characters is not bad for the portable console. Not bad for a PS1-to-Game Boy adaptation, anyway. You jump a little like you do in Prince Of Persia and other such games where you grab onto the edge of a ledge and pull yourself up.
It may sound like I’m trashing this game but, make no mistake, I do genuinely like the original version and this lesser port, while infuriatingly restricted, is still very much playable. You can still tell there’s something pretty cool in there somewhere.
The Playstation offers a fuller game but this one can be enjoyed on a more basic level, as a simple platformer which just happens to have an eccentric, experimental feel to it. Abe’s not just a telepathic messiah, a bizarre-looking demi-god who literally farts wisdom from his rear, he’s also a video game character and, as such, he is doomed to avoid randomly falling objects while jumping on inconvenient platforms:
And because, in video games, no floor is without gaps, Abe is also often required to activate something in order to proceed with his journey.
There are annoying tasks to perform, tasks that if someone asked you nicely to take care of and even paid you to do you’d still laugh in their face.
Of course, no matter what you do, you never get recognition. All that happens is everything that exists wants to kill you and doesn’t stop trying to do just that, even oversized irises from a giant’s eyeball!
Or… whatever that’s actually meant to be.
Point being: this may not be the Oddworld game you want to play but, as a game, it still just about works. It’s really not the type of thing that works on the original Game Boy, a system that’s at its best when it keeps things simple (see Tetris), so I do recommend checking it out on the PS1 where you can also find decent spin-offs and sequels.
Oddworld is definitely a franchise to look into.
Even if the games are the type that send you passive aggressive mixed messages right at the end.
Did I actually do a great job or are you just saying that so I don’t throw my Game Boy into a cat right now?
‘Cause I’ll do it!
That’s what I thought.
Now there’s a good question.
Another one would be “Who The Heck Is Carmen Sandiego”?
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With Avengers: Age Of Ultron currently killing it in cinemas, I thought I’d take a look at the NES port of Captain America and The Avengers since it is pretty darn different than the Genesis version, which was the very first review I wrote for 1MoreCastle, funnily enough.
Ah the memories…
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How have I not reviewed Rampart before?
Here’s a classic game in which the chief goal is to gather “one more castle” and then another, and another until you annihilate your opponent with the help of countless well-placed cannons.
Everyone should eat their vegetables.
But after playing Princess Tomato In The Salad Kingdom, you could be forgiven for never wanting to look at one ever again.
This game is ALL vegetables from start to finish.
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Monsters are cool.
Video games are also cool so you can imagine how cool Rampage is.
Unless you’ve played it, in which case you already know.
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Review A Great Game Day is back!
Which is why today I’ll be looking at one of my favourite games: the original Tomb Raider.
No bows and arrows, no crisp, cinematic graphics, no fancy movie-length cut-scenes, just handguns, good old pixels and pointy-looking people with rectangular hands.
The way it should be.
Tomb Raider: Anniversary? That’s for suckers.
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Here’s a game we’ve all played.
This is a game with many names, it is also known as The Net, The Web, The Interwebs, “Online,” The Internets, Ye Olde HTTP or Ern.
Though Ern really is more like its middle name.
Or… rather the middle of its name.
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While hardly a retro game, having been released in 2007, I thought I’d still talk about The Simpsons Game today as I’ve tackled like three Simpsons games before and this one does parody retro games as well as newer ones.
Mmmmm… gamey.
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His name is Alfred.
And he is, indeed, a chicken.
Today, I’ll be talking about his game: Alfred Chicken on the NES.
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Games like Hatris are like purple space dolphins.
They’re rare.
They’re beautiful.
They’re purple.
And they totally exist.
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Warning!
The following game’s violent, ultra-violent even, so you might want to look away at certain points of this review.
Forget the new GTA games, NARC is where it’s at.
Released for the Arcade in 1988, here was a game with an anti-drugs message but also sadistic tendencies. You remember those crazy, way too violent games Bart Simpson played in old Simpsons episodes? NARC was kind of like that.
Those more perceptive of you might recall seeing the game briefly in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.
Do not let the crappy-looking start-up screen or the cutesy title above fool you, My Hero is not for the faint of heart.
Released for the arcade back in 1985, the game followed a dude whose girlfriend is randomly kidnapped by a street thug going after the latter in an epic beat ’em up journey which involved ninjas and ape men.