Adam Ezagouri
TheRetroCritic is a film and game reviewer specialising in all things great and retro. He runs a blog at retrocriticblog.blogspot.com and can be found ranting on Twitter @TheRetroCritic.
Of course I had to talk about a Castlevania game at some point.
After all, a vampire-themed retro gaming month without Castlevania is like…
February or something.
Whatever the worst month is: THAT.
After Kid Chameleon and Cowboy Kid comes…
Kid Dracula, a Game Boy game whose existence is a bit surprising to say the least.
For one thing, it’s both a spin-off and a sequel.
Oddly, Kid Dracula is indeed a spin-off of Castlevania and a sequel to a Famicom Kid Dracula game. That said, going into this one, don’t expect Castlevania: this really is a more kid-friendly, cuter take on that world.
As some of you may know, this month is Vampire Month on my blog. This means I will predominantly be focusing on vampire-related content. And yes, this also means that Vampire Month is going to “bleed” into my 1MoreCastle reviews.
In a good way.
This month, I will therefore be focusing on somewhat vampiric retro games and to kick things off, why not take a slightly different route and check out classic 1997 PC game Blood.
Now, I know that Blood isn’t so much a vampire game as it is a supernatural medley of monsters game but hell, it’s called “Blood” and vampires drink that stuff so it totally counts.
No, not the NES game.
We’ve all played that one and I think we can all agree that it’s getting pretty difficult to stretch “this game sucks” to an entire review. Though AVGN did do an admittedly decent and entertaining job doing just that and I’m still looking forward to our very own Nintendo Legend‘s review of the game!
Which is why I’m going to be looking at the Amiga version of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
Now, there are clear similarities between that game and the NES version but the Amiga actually follows the plot of the film somewhat more closely, so it’s worth checking how worthy of an adaptation it is.
It was only a matter of time before I would review this little classic courtesy of Yu Suzuki, the man behind the likes of After Burner, Space Harrier, Virtua Fighter, Daytona USA and, of course, the Shenmue series.
God I love this guy.
He was also behind Hang-On which was released a year prior to Out Run and, although both games were unique in their own way, the latter is basically an enhanced version of the former. With cars instead of bikes, of course.
According to Suzuki, Out Run isn’t a racing game, it’s a driving game. An interesting distinction to make but a valid one. I was lucky enough to discover the game in a French arcade as a kid and play it there constantly long after its initial release. I mean, let’s be honest: I was kinda young in 1985.
I almost don’t need to elaborate on that, do I?
Yes, it’s time to talk about an NES game that not only sounds silly but is exactly just that.
Why would I even think of playing Big Nose The Caveman? Well, let’s just say that watching Riddick, a film in which a tough guy walks around punching monsters in the face, frolicking with random creatures, somewhat inspired me.
Now, there are tons of caveman-themed games out there, including several Big Nose games (Big Nose Freaks Out is the geniusely titled sequel) but let’s take a look at this one first and foremost.
Ah Hang-On…
I thought we’d chill out for a bit and talk about a game which, I think we can all agree, is just plain good. In fact, for me, Hang-On is one of those games that’s just kind of perfect. There really isn’t anything I would change about it or add to it.
Like Tetris or Pac-Man, it feels pretty complete.
The premise is blindingly simple: you’re on a bike, you’re racing to the finish line.
That’s it.
And that’s all it needs to be!
You knew I’d get to this one eventually.
I mean, how could I pass up the chance to joke about a game sequel to a movie which doesn’t actually have a sequel?
It’s goofy, it’s confusing, it’s NES: it’s perfect.
The Goonies II is a sequel to a Goonies Famicom game and follows Mikey on a ridiculous quest to rescue his friends from the Fratellis and… a mermaid.
Best. Sequel. Ever.
Seriously, why haven’t they made this yet?!
I had to sit through TWO half-baked Lost Boys sequels and The Goonies II doesn’t exist?
Unfair.
Why anyone would go through the trouble of making a Cliffhanger game is beyond me.
I mean, the film’s fine and all but it’s not exactly for kids and its plot doesn’t really lend itself to video games so the fact that they made not just one but several Cliffhanger games is pretty odd to me.
All that said, let’s take a look at some of the different game versions based on Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky Mountains-set early 90’s flick.
Back in the days where the Dreamcast existed and made us Sega fiends very happy, a little game came out that made Toy Story sound positively wimpy.
A little game called: Toy Commander.
I first came upon this game on a short demo which came together with that old Dreamcast magazine and had so much fun with it that, much like a robot, I went out and bought the actual thing. It’s weird to think back to that time and realise that I actually owned not one but two toy-themed video games, the other being Army Men: Sarge’s Heroes.
Toy commander is essentially a collection of mini games, or mini missions if you will, all taking place inside some little kid’s house.
A little kid called Andy.
Happy Review a Bad Game Day, everyone!
After looking back at the one Simpsons game that truly poisoned many hours of my time back in the day and didn’t include innocent, doomed, soon-to-be-murdered mice, I thought it would be fitting to review another Simpsons game I recall being particularly irritating.
Alright, let’s talk Bart Simpson’s Escape From Camp Deadly for the original Nintendo Game Boy.
Something a little bit different for today, I take a look at 10 random enemies that appear in retro game adaptations of popular movies and explore just how out-of-place they are in those particular settings.
For some reason, retro games allowed programmers to take a lot of liberties back in the day when making games based on movies. And boy do I thank them for it because otherwise, I’d have nothing to make fun of!
Without further ado, let’s check out my Top 10 Unlikely Movie Game Villains, you’ll notice many of those are games I’ve already reviewed here on 1MoreCastle, with a couple of surprises thrown in.
Yup, it’s THAT time again:
Eric Vole listed his 10 Favorite LJN Games recently and, with The Wolverine coming out in theatres soon, why not take a look at a game that didn’t make the list but is worthy of mention: Wolverine on the NES.
A fan of The Simpsons growing up, there were three games I owned and played constantly back in the day.
One of them was, of course, Krusty’s Fun House, the other was Bart’s Nightmare and finally, there was Bart vs. The Space Mutants, a game so cryptic that the more you played it, the dumber you felt.
And I played it A LOT.
The first time I heard the title Captain Comic, I expected something truly badass.
Either this was going to be a superhero game or something closer to Comix Zone, with a comic book theme to it.
Turns out that this was a little harmless side-scroller about a dude who walks around with a helmet, shooting birds in the face and jump-cutting to the Moon. For an old DOS game, it was actually decent enough: the graphics were colourful, the gameplay was straight-forward and as annoying as all those erratic floating sprites were, Captain Comic was still a likeable game.
You can see/hear me struggling to play it here:
Then came the NES version.
I’ve certainly been scraping the barrel lately in terms of old DOS games.
With the help of one cheap “500 Games in 1“-style PC compilation, I’ve been rediscovering a lot of crappy games I’d completely forgotten about.
One of them was Aldo’s Adventure, a Donkey Kong/Mario Bros. clone with a main character who kinda looks like Mario if Cheech Marin had got the part in the Super Mario Bros. movie instead of Bob Hoskins back in the day.
Last one, I promise.
So I don’t currently own a Nintendo 64 which means that unfortunately I can’t suffer through the infamous nightmare that is Superman 64 for you guys. That said, I have found the next best (read: worst) thing!
Superman on the original Game Boy!
And now for something completely different.
Let’s take a break from Superman and talk about Sunman, a little known superhero who, despite what people say, is nothing like Superman.
Oh sure he has a red cape, flies, shoots lasers from his eyes, has super-strength and a bald arch-enemy but he is nothing like…
Waaaait a minute…
Yes, Superman again.
So I’m excited about the release of Man Of Steel, so what?
Can you blame me?!
Besides, there are many, MANY Superman games out there, some of them good (see last week’s The Death And Return Of Superman), some of them… Superman 64.
This week, let’s take a look at Superman: The Man Of Steel on the Sega Master System, a game which, on paper, sounds great: it’s a side scroller, Brainiac’s in it, there’s spaceships…
But no.
It’s not good.
You knew this was coming.
With Man Of Steel out soon, I was bound to go all DC and celebrate the film’s release with some Superman-themed retro game reviews. To start with, let’s look at a little Genesis gem (and SNES gem) called The Death And Return Of Superman.
And yes, before you ask, it’s better than Superman Returns.