GMZ

GMZ #12 – Daniel Lamplugh, Tamagotchi, Link’s Sentence, & Kanye+Daisy?

GMZ co-founder Daniel Lamplugh arrested arrested after nude rampage in streets of small Indiana town

By Alyx Warvyk

GMZ co-founder, film director, and oil tycoon Daniel Lamplugh was recently arrested under one count of public indecency, one count of usage of a controlled substance, and two counts of assault after rampaging in the nude in the small suburban town of Keochip, Indiana. This is Lamplugh’s third violent criminal offense. “He was under the influence of over 24oz of cocaine at the time of arrest,” stated Police Chief Max Force, “It’s truly a human marvel that his heart didn’t burst.” Lamplugh has recently been the perpetrator of several sordid events. “I think the money and power went to his head,” offered GMZ reporter B. Byrd, “He even tried to force Pierre out of the company at one point.”

Lamplugh states that he will refuse to plea guilty, regardless of bargains. He is currently residing in the Keochip police precinct.

EXCLUSIVE: Bandai’s Tamagotchi L.I.F.E. trailer leaked

By Makiko Anata

Our inside source at the Bandai headquarters sent us this video late last night. It appears the folks at Bandai saw the recent Tomodachi Life video Nintendo created and thought to themselves, “Hey, no one is allowed to make terrible sim ‘games’ with atrocious graphics but us! And that bizarre, bordering on full-blown stupid, video? We can do that too! SUCK IT, NINTENDO!

Anyway, let us know what you think in the comments. Is this something you would ” play”?

Verdict and Shocking Sentence Delivered in Link Sex Assault Case

By Morton Judd

Judge Joseph Dredd handed down his guilty verdict and wasted no time in delivering his sentence. Instead of jail time, fines, or community service, the judge decided to go with a very unique restraining order. Initially, many of the people who had accused Link of various forms of sexual assault and misconduct and who had packed the courthouse in anticipation of the verdict and sentence were shocked and cried out in anger. Judge Dredd immediately called everyone to order and continued. “I AM THE LAW and I hereby order Cornelius Lincoln (Link) Dingleberry Dubois the 14th to not come within 10 Hyrulian miles of any female person.”

It was at this point that the crowd inside the courthouse erupted in cheers, as people applauded the verdict amidst hugs and tears. Link, meanwhile, did nothing be flash a slight smirk. Outside, many of the people who testified against him declared the verdict a victory for justice.

When Link finally made an appearance on the courthouse steps, he was asked what he thought of the verdict:

“I don’t think it’s a big deal. I mean, it won’t really have much of an impact on my career. I doubt I’ll see any impact at all. When you think about it, most of my games, especially the early ones, had next to no women in them anyway.”

BUDDING ROMANCE: Daisy and Kanye?!

Photos by Miku Hinasaki

Don’t tell Luigi or Kim, but it seems Kanye West and Princess Daisy are getting a bit closer than usual. Here are some exclusive photos from GMZ photographer Miku Hinasaki.