GMZ

GMZ #2-3 – LaBeouf, LaDead, and E-La-Vator

Shia LaBeouf creates meta-modernist love art exhibit based on IGN

by Cece Romano

Last week, Shia LaBeouf, famed actor, artist, and paper-bag wearer, opened a new meta-modernist art exhibit. A follow-up to his exhibit #IAMSORRY, the newly titled @IGN consists of LeBeouf sobbing loudly and rolling in a pile of money naked in a small room as people enter. The entrants are them allowed to take an item off a table (a bag of Doritos, a bottle of Mountain Dew, and a copy of the latest Call of Duty) and physically assault LaBeouf with it.

LaBeouf advertised the event by appearing at the premier for his newest film, Fury, by wearing a paper bag with the writing “I am not Peer Schneider.” He then pulled down his pants and masturbated on the red carpet.

Controversy erupted yesterday, however, when it was claimed that Shia LeBeouf had plagiarized the idea from IGN’s own Greg Miller. “He didn’t take my idea,” Miller says, “He took my life. I mean, that bit about rolling around naked in money was taken right from a picture of me during the PS4 launch. It’s disgusting how he thinks he can tell this story of corruption and debasement and not put my name on it.”

LeBeouf has not offered an official response, other than tweeting “@GameOverGreggy #IAMSORRY.”

Klaus Kooleckson gunned down in mysterious shooting

by W. R. Watching

Former GMZ subject, drug dealer, jail bird, and former video game star Klaus Kooleckson, aka “Kid Kool” was recently gunned down in an alley in Atlanta. Kooleckson, who had recently been sent to jail for the distribution of Marijuana to minors, was out on limited parole after remarkably good behavior, provided he make motivational speeches to school children on the dangers of drugs.

“He was doing really well,” remarked Warden J. Thomas, signed off on Kooleckson’s parole, “I believe he really was headed in the right direction. He had seen the error of his ways.”

Kooleckson’s body was found early Thursday morning in an alley in East Atlanta, with 15 bullet holes in the torso. There were no traces of drugs or alcohol in samples taken from Kooleckson’s blood, and according to police forensics, his body showed no signs of struggle.

On Kooleckson’s forehead, a message, stating “Watson” was spelled out in blood. Police investigators have yet to uncover the meaning behind the message.

A public memorial for Kid Kool will be held on November 1st.

TV series based on Elevator Action greenlit by AMC

by R. Kirkman

Elevator Action, the Taito arcade game, which was later ported to early consoles, has been officially announced by cable network AMC as being adapted into a TV series for next summer. The series will, reportedly, be shot solely with head mounted Go-Pros, and follows Special Agent 17, “Otto,” a spy tasked with infiltration and retrieval missions.

Not much else is known about the plot yet, but it was announced that it might “cross over into some territories other AMC series have before” and to “expect lots of blood”.