The Retro Critic

Time Soldiers

Ikari Warriors was a classic top-down vertically-scrolling arcade shoot ’em up where you played as a couple of soldiers trying to reach some village but having to shoot through ridiculous amounts of enemies before getting there.

The sequel, Victory Road, saw the game’s Rambo-like protagonists time travel, funnily enough.

Which is why a Sega Master System port of the game was planned and… somehow kinda got made.

Except it ended up being called Time Soldiers.
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Hello Grim Fandango, Goodbye Tank Controls

Grim Fandango is, perhaps, LucasArts greatest adventure game. Written by Tim Schafer, the game was released in 1998 to critical affair. While the games Day of the Dead inspired world remains fresh and exciting, the game notably employs the infamous tank control system. However, fear not, a modder has come to your rescue.

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Top 10 Retro Games That Would Be Awesome On the Wii U

So, based on recent news, you might think that the Wii U isn’t doing very well. You also might think that to be an understatement. They’re not getting along with third party developers, and few of their new games seem to be really taking off. Maybe it’s time to do what they do best – reach out to their long term fans by dipping into the retro market while making use of all those silly gadgets they’ve got going on. It’s better than just releasing every retro game imaginable on the Virtual Console and eShop. Right?

I’ve got some ideas to get them started. And I’m leaving out Mario games and any game where you have a sword because that’s too obvious. They should be able to figure that at on their own.

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Storming The Castle

The Fall and Rise of Flappy Bird

This week on Storming the Castle, our group members Zack Smith, Paul Potvin, Johnny de Alba and Alex Weiss ALL team up to bring you our thoughts and ruminations (and a video!) on one of the biggest gaming phenomenons of 2014: Flappy Bird! Love it or hate it, the game is an enigma. C’mon! You know you’ve played it! Everyone has! So what’s all the fuss about? Lets find out!

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2 Decades Late

Super Mario Kart

I will get this out of the way early and admit two things. First, this choice was totally inspired by Bailey’s pick for the Retro Showdown on episode 74 of 1 More Podcastle. Second, I did actually have an experience with this game as a child. A friend had it and I played it a couple of times. That said, it has probably been about 2 decades since I have played it and so I think I’m still safe. In those decades, I have played and loved games like Mario Kart 64, even if I don’t think it is as good as Diddy Kong Racing. Right now, I am totally hooked on Mario Kart 7 on my 3DS. The point is, I am a fan of the series and I never really went back and studied the roots of the franchise. As I had this thought about doing this game, I had a second thought. What if it turns out like Star Fox did for me? What if playing these before ever truly experiencing the original will ruin that original for me? One way to find out.
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The Retro Critic

The Smurfs

Life is hard for those who grew up with The Smurfs these days, what with those awful new movies getting endless sequels and all.

People forget that The Smurfs used to be a cute cartoon, a fun comic book and you even had some decent enough games attached to these little blue fellas back in the day.

I’ll be talking about the NES and Game Boy versions of one of those games because…

Because Nintendo, that’s why.

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1 More Countdown

Top 10 Favorite Mortal Kombat Kharacters

Back a long time ago, I made a list of my top 10 favorite Street Fighter characters. In that blog, I said that when I was a kid, I preferred the Mortal Kombat series, mainly for the gore and characters. At the end of the blog, I teased another top 10 featuring the Mortal Kombat kast. The time has finally arrived for me to make that list.

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GMZ

GMZ #9 – Samus Sex Tape, Q*Bert & the KKK, Link Case Update

Samus Sex-Tape

By Brian Mather

Famed bounty hunter and world defender, Samus Aran, is in for a shake up. Two days ago, a virally leaked sex tape starring the youthful blonde began circulating around all corners of the net. Celebrity sex tapes are nothing new, but what shocked the public is her “co-star”: Ridley, a leader of the Space Pirates, and Aran’s long time nemesis. “I am severely disappointed by this incident. But, Samus is an adult, and who she brings home is her business,” stated long time friend of Aran, Princess Daisy, of Mario Land fame.
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RetroHate

Sonic’s “Special” Stages Pt 1

Remember when games had “Special Stages”? Those secret little areas tucked away in a level somewhere or locked behind some kind of often arbitrary goal or requirement? Remember the immense wonder and satisfaction at first discovering a game’s Special Stage? I remember the first time I leapt into that big floating ring at the end of a level in Sonic the Hedgehog. I can almost remember thinking…WHAT. THE. FUNK?!?
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The Retro Critic

RoboCop

Remember when I reviewed RoboCop vs The Terminator?

Remember how good an idea that was?

Well, since then, a genius studio executive, high up in the Hollywood hills, decided to ignore that and, instead, remake Paul Verhoeven’s 80’s classic RoboCop because everyone wanted that, apparently. Needless to say that the film, which is released this week, doesn’t look good.

Which is why I thought I’d take this opportunity to put a positive spin on things and talk about something both good and RoboCop related: the RoboCop NES game.
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